E_Dub vent sessions

Subject: tell me she didnt put it on him!!

All I am saying…I got to see the chic that got that monkey (other than
Badu) so good you will leave your 4 sons on Father’s day weekend. That
monkey was so good he couldn’t even think of a good muthastuffin lie…he
was like “phuck it, I am going hiking honey and I don’t know when the phuck
I’ll be back!”

Now I don’t blame the dude for having a jump-off in another country cuz
technically it’s not cheating because he was married in the United States
and our laws do not carry over in other countries. For example, in the U.S.
you have to be 21 years-old to purchase and drink alcohol…well that law
does not apply when you go to the Bahamas or Ireland…so technically he did
NOT have an affair as it was carried out on the soil of another country
…that’s my story and I am sticking with it! LMAO

But what tripped me out… muthastuffas keep fallin into the same trap..
giving too much information over text and email. Here is 1 of the emails he
sent his Argentina Jump-off:

“Two, mutual feelings …. You have a particular grace and calm that I
adore. You have a level of sophistication that so fitting with your beauty.
I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificent gentle
kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curve of your hips,
the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of
yourself) in the faded glow of the night’s light – but hey, that would be
going into sexual details …”

Whaddaphuck Edgar Allen Poe… you gotta a wife and 4 sons and you writing
love jones poems on your gov’t email to some chic you barely see. And that’s
why he got caught…that monkey takes your mind… and when you lose your
mind… your money and azz is up for grabs! When are bamas gonna learn to
keep it short and sweet and talk in muthastuffin code.

I told you before…IF it was me sending those messages…it would take
Robert Langdon himself to decipher what I was saying. For example, re-read
his lovey dubby email above…..now this is what E’Dub would have said:

Dub typed: “Curious George whistled like Andy Griffith when Roger Wood
touched it was on slam.”

Argie JO responds: “OWP (meaning: oooh wow poppie!)”

See the muthastuffin code!! To the common eye you have no clue what I am
Saying, but if I had a jumpoff…that was a precious description of
the intimate night we shared. Another example, this is how he should have
confirmed his visit w/o blowin up his spot:

Dub types: JIA2ARG30JUN16.00GREENRED

Argie jump-off responds: WILCO

Dub responds: Curious George And the Baseball Bat APX $16.30

Again that muthastuffin Davinci code…what did I just say on text/email you
Wonder….I said, “My flight from Jax to Argentina leaves next Tuesday, I
land at 4:00pm let me know if that’s good.” She then confirmed with the
‘Will Comply’…..then I send a final text saying “I am going to beat that
monkey like a bat at 4:30!” LMAO

See that’s the main problem with the game now….and why I am glad I am no
longer in it…. Bamas be running that ol New York game which continues to
drive up the price of monkey. What do I mean by that NY game…simple it’s
that tell a chic anything they want to hear, talk bad about your current
situation to make the jump off feel special, then lay up w/ the JO talkin
bout their wives, talkin bout their kids, their jobs and just tell the JO
all their business and make them feel apart of their lives.

Then your feelings get caught up and you start making simple mistakes. Where
if it was me….I aint tellin you chyt….we aint cuddlin and talkin ’bout
my wife…..we aint cuddlin and talkin about the problems at work….and we
definitely aint cuddlin and talkin bout my kids…..all she EVER needs to
know is that you are married and you have as much chance of becoming the
real wifey as eating butter off of a hot rock!

See, dat nik nik (my bruh) Steve Harvey aint gonna tell you this in his
book, so let me go there quickly.(clearing my throat) AINT NO married man or
woman gonna leave their husband or wife and still pay the mortagage and the
child support to be wit your azz..and that’s real talk!

Now he is on television crying like a little punk..talkin ’bout “he spent
the entire 7 days crying”…yeah right you are crying cause you got caught
which is YO fault. But honestly, that’s what the phuck his redneck azz gets
for fighting Congress instead of taking the Federal Funds to help the poor
people in SC.

Moral of the story – most things get phucked due to someone talkin too damn
much. Whether it’s someone you trusted with the secret, the person you are
creepin with, or you for running your damn mouth and writing love poems on
email. Shut da phuck up about your personal business, stop writing poetry
and plan accordingly by thinking before you lye!!!

And hell naw… this email aint from no experience!!! LOL

Dub

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About theunspokentruth12

Dedicated to sharing knowledge, networking and building effective relationships within our community.
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