TGI Muthastuffin Friday
Gonna keep it quick but extremely REAL this morning…but it needs to be
said! I received a gang of calls, emails and texts last week in regards to
if I was going to comment on last weeks State of the Union address, a.k.a
The Tiger Woo saga.
I decided to let this whole Tiger Woo thangy marinate for a week so I could
listen to talk at the barber shop, golf course and amongst the white…oops,
I meant wonderful folks during my Monday poker night and at the clubhouse
bar. I have listened to all sides regarding Tiger’s “transgressions” and now
I feel it’s time for E’Dub to let you know what’s up!!
Let me be clear when stating this,… Tiger Woods don’t have to apologize to
me or nobody…he does not owe anyone ANY explanations…he doesn’t have to
prove remorse to the public…it ain’t our muthastuffin business!
aight, here goes…Now I am going to piss some of the ladies off…the
person who should be apologizing as well is, his wife TO HIM! I am tired of
hearing all the “he is low down for cheating”…or “why get married if you
wanna cheat”…let’s call a spade a spade…the spade that most woman don’t
want to hear. If your man cheats on you…in some, maybe most cases, it is
provoked by your actions….some might interpret what I’m saying by stating
IT”S YOUR D4MN FAULT!
It’s simple…there is a need…where there is a need…human nature is to
fulfill the need. Look at society now…if your husband doesn’t do well with
the lawn…do you mind him hiring the Mexicans every other week? If the wife
doesn’t have time to clean the house weekly…clean the tile, shine the
hardwood, do the windows, pledge the furniture…you don’t mind hiring a
cleaning person. When you don’t feel like cooking dinner…you don’t mind
stopping at KFC and getting a 10 piece dark w/ beans and macaroni. When you
don’t feel like or have time to do your nails or eyebrows…you go to the
Chinese person to have them done. When the wife wants to change the color of
the living room and doesn’t feel like painting…she doesn’t mind hiring a
painter. My wife isn’t mad when I occasionally get her car detailed rather
than doing it myself.
The point is…we are so lazy now we pay folks to do everything else we
don’t feel like doing…so if you don’t FEEL like giving consistent
sex…why not let somebody else do it! Saying “you shouldn’t get married if
u wanna have sex with someone else”…is like saying “you shouldn’t buy a
house if you don’t know how to cut the grass”.
When are woman going to understand the ROOT problem and stop blaming it on
everything else but them! The ROOT of the problem is not that men get
married then decide they want to have sex w/ all these random folks. The
ROOT…the true ROOT of the problem…in most marriages is that when sex
decreases, NAGGING increases. Yes responsibilities increase…but dangit,
you can’t MULTI-TASK? If you had a bad day at work…try NOT talking about
it rather than yapping about it from time you walk in the door till Jimmy
Fallon comes on.
And woman feel pity for Tiger Woods wife…for what…she ain’t worked since
she married him…has millions of dollars at her disposal…and a nanny to
RAISE the 2 kids…and she couldn’t find time to F#%k the brother (or half
brutha)? Women complain all the time when it comes to sexing their
husbands…”oh I had a bad day at work”…”I am tired because I was working
all day”…or “I don’t feel like it because I am keeping up w/ the kids.”
Well let me tell you something…you can keep coming up w/ all the excuses
you want…but the truth is Da JUMPOFF got the SAME problems but ain’t
letting it be an excuse. Da JUMPOFF work all day too…but still likes to
F#&k when she gets off…the jumpoff is tired too…but she ain’t too tired
We all laughed at Tiger for messing with a waitress. But look at the
situation, this WAITRESS who is on her feet 8-10 hours a day dealing with
complaining customers…carrying trays of food for $1 & $2 tips…was NOT
too tired to F#%k the chyt outta Tiger when she got off…but you are in
Corporate America behind a computer all day and you are too “exhausted” to
give some heady Murphy…….CHILD PLEASE!
Then some woman complain about, “the kids, I don’t have time cause of the
kids”…well again…Da JUMPOFF got kids too…but she still finds time to
make someone’s man happy! Or the excuse is “I am back in school trying to
get that Master’s or PH.D”…again the JUMPOFFS are working fulltime and
taking classes at night too.
Moral of the Story – It is NOT impossible to keep your man satisfied with
something so simple…because every excuse you have for NOT doing it…there
are 3 people WILLING to do it. So ask yourself…if DA JUMPOFF who didn’t
pledge everlasting love to my husband can go above and beyond to make him
happy…what can’t I?
Woman using the excuse of work/kids/school/life etc. to not keep their man
happy at home is JUST like a Black Man blaming his downfall on “The Man”.
The Man keeps holding me down…I ain’t gotta promotion cause of “the
man”…I don’t have good credit because of “the man”. But the crux of the
matter, there ARE many Black Men who have succeeded against the same odds by
NOT making excuses.
And some women are in denial…some of you are thinking right now, “I know I
keep my man happy”…or “he is straight”…but let me be honest again…if
you can COUNT in the last month how many times you “made love”, IT AINT
Now some of you are STEAMING right now…and what you are going to do is as
expected…you are going to take the time to write me a NASTY response
saying, “E’Dub you are ignorant and such and such”…a few of you are going
to curse me slam out for saying what a lot of folks WANT to say but can’t
SAY cuz they soft back azz is too damn scuuured! LMAO
But how about trying something different…instead of responding to me…or
cursing me…how about send your husband a quick text or email…letting him
know that you can’t wait to get home and “Tear dat azz up” tonight! And when
he gets home…do so…and guess what, wake up in the morning and do it
AGAIN…try phuckin or makin love to yo husband soo much until HE says he is
too tired and cant take no mo.
Seriously…try this next week…every time you think to complain about
work…give him some Heady Murphy. Instead of picking up the phone to call
your girlfriends or momma next week…take that 10 minutes and give your
husband a quickie!
It’s a simple solution to a simple problem…it’s 2010 and how NOT to be
like Tiger Wood’s wife or Kobe Bryant’s wife or John Edward’s wife…or
Hillary Clinton…or your divorced friend or female co-worker…has been
laid out. Try it…and I promise every complaint you have about how sorry a
nik nik your man is, trust me when I say that nik nik will drastically
change…why not make the first step??
Aight, Lemme get out of here and get some lunch. They got a special 2 piece
dark combo (all Thigh’s) from noon-2p @ Spank’s gentleman club, I need to be
…..here goes, bout to push send without proofin this joint, now let the
Mel Gibson hate emails begin…..Dub Owt!
P.S. – This is not a personal vent before y’all starting going
there…everything is cool at Team Wiz HQ! But like every guy I know…I
wouldn’t mind MORE monkey…my 12 pack still has 13! LMAO
P.S. x 2 – Fellas if you don’t mind being in the doghouse…let your wife
read this…look her in the eye and be like, “What..What!”
P.S. x 3 – Ladies…seriously even if you think you are good…take this
weekend to step up the game…even Jordan had to continuously practice…he
didn’t stop working on his game AFTER he got his 1st ring! (Decipher
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